What is a Yoke??? How do we give it up?

Definition of a Yoke: (from Wikipedia) A yoke is a shaped wooden crosspiece bound to the necks of a pair of oxen, occasionally horses. It is held on the animal's neck by a usually U-shaped oxbow that also transmits force from the animal's shoulders. A swivel beneath the centre of the yoke, between the animals, attaches the pole of the vehicle (when the animals steer the vehicle) or chains that are used to drag the load.

Over the last several months, I have felt an enormous yoke upon my shoulders. For almost a year I have been heavily involved (more than normal) with helping our church to run as a church. I picked up being the sound man, multimedia coordinator, video producer and computer technician, among my normal duties of being Youth Pastor. When I first came to Covenant, I shied away from doing anything besides youth because I didn't want any interference or to take more time away from my family, but for the sake of helping the church I picked up where others hadn't. Now, this all isn't to make me feel better, God gave me these gifts and I felt at the time that I needed to use them. But as the months passed, I really began to feel the wear on my life of being responsible for doing so much and having to decide which area of my life I was going to focus on.

As I know look back, I realize that my youth ministry began to go down hill. I began to get drained and feel that I was doing sooo much, that I didn't want to do anymore. The yoke I was carrying began to be to much for me. Then when I really started looking for a full-time ministry position, that yoke became even that much greater. I really began to dread going to church, just because I knew that it would include a ton of work on my part and I felt I was more running around doing things, then actually being able to listen and learn what God was wanting to tell me.

Well, with little choice on my part, all this has come to an end. I am no longer the youth pastor at Covenant, a committee has been formed to take my place as Beth and I look for a full-time position. I no longer wear any hats. I am just a member, who is actually able to sit and listen to the sermon. This is weird for me. After going full steam for the last year or so, I am able to sit back and enjoy some quiet time, and thankfully more time with my family. This is a welcome break, as I am getting ready to take on a full time ministry somewhere, and I know how much time that will consume.

But through all these months of looking and trying to figure out where God will be sending me, I have really took more emotional baggage onto myself. I am one who likes to plan, and likes to know what is going to happen. In our path to look for a full-time position, we have found ourselves not knowing hardly anything, and continually asking ourselves the question of, what next? We know that God has a plan for us, there is no doubt, but we really are ready for Him to reveal all the details so that we can begin to move in that direction. Yesterday, I sat in Sunday School for the first time in many months. Ray, our teacher, was speaking about Hannah, Eli and Samuel and how Hannah surrendered her son to God, because He blessed her with Samuel. Ray spoke of being able to surrender everything to God, even the disappointment in our lives, the struggles, then unknowing of what is going to happen.

As I thought about my blog and what I would write about, I looked up Matt 11:28-19, which reads, "28Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.29Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.30For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” This verse has never really made sense to me till know. With everything I have gone through the last few months, I have had to lean on God more and more, because I (we) are very limited in what we can actually control. Even when we think we have control, we usually don't. But God is in control, God knows everything, He knows the intricacies of your life and where you will go. Our part as Christians is to give up that control and allow Him to lead us in the direction that we can be most useful for His Kingdom, not our own self-gratification.