I am going to jump into the political side of things for a while. I consider myself an independent on most everything. I don't follow people blindly or because they align with a couple of my beliefs. I live my life as a Christians but believe that we are all sinners and need God's love. I believe what I believe because of years of searching myself, scripture and listening to God. I know that people don't agree 100% with me, even within my own church or denomination.
Showing posts with label complaining. Show all posts
Showing posts with label complaining. Show all posts
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Thursday, July 19, 2012
My Will vs God's Will
I have never been one to rely on other people. I have been on my own for most of my life. I left my house at the age of (barely) 18, went to college and have never really returned home or asked for help from my parents. While this might be commendable, this desire to be self-dependent has been a hindrance when it comes to trusting God to help you.
In my early times in ministry, I struggled when church members or people would come up and try to give me some sort of gift. I would brush it off or let them know it was needed. In some cases, they gave it anyways, other they just walked away. When I was at a church in Mt. Juliet, TN, my pastor and I were talking about this and he told me that receiving gifts was allowing that person to fulfill what God was calling them to do and that by not accepting them, you were limiting their work. I was floored. I had never thought of it that way. The conversation changed my thinking and since then I have received gifts and thanks with much graciousness and joy.
My other struggle has been allowing God to provide for me. I was like many other Christians who said that I trusted God with everything but deep down I didn't. I would tithe when I had the extra money but if I didn't then I would "forget" my checkbook. My thinking was that somehow I was fooling God. This was the way my whole life was. I said I trusted God but ultimately I was trusting myself to provide and allowing God whenever it was OK.
Over the last 10 months, God has been pruning away my desire to be self-dependent. He caused me to see that only through Him do I have a job, food and shelter. He showed me that leaning on Him is more productive then trying to live for myself. This came strikingly clear as I searched for a job. At about the 3 month mark, I hadn't received a single call back on any of the over 100 jobs I had applied for. I began to think that maybe I was looking in the wrong place, so I talked to my now pastor and being his volunteer associate pastor. He basically hired me that weekend. I was floored, it wasn't much money but it was some. I was glad to be at Epworth. I then struggled with applying for other jobs. I knew that God was providing for us and that I was at the church I needed to be at but I felt that I needed something else to bring in more money to provide for myself. I had this internal struggle of applying for jobs versus trusting in God to put me where he wanted.
It was hard. Very hard to let go. Sadly, I continued to look for jobs because I didn't want to "give up" on what God might have for me but I knew that I wouldn't find anything because God didn't want me working anywhere else. I also began to realize that I needed to branch out my circle of friends. Since moving to Newburgh and leaving the church we moved here for, my circle was incredibly small to almost non-existent. God provided my a job, working at Walmart, to help this. I believe He has called me there to reach others for Him or at the very least be a friend to those who need it...
In my early times in ministry, I struggled when church members or people would come up and try to give me some sort of gift. I would brush it off or let them know it was needed. In some cases, they gave it anyways, other they just walked away. When I was at a church in Mt. Juliet, TN, my pastor and I were talking about this and he told me that receiving gifts was allowing that person to fulfill what God was calling them to do and that by not accepting them, you were limiting their work. I was floored. I had never thought of it that way. The conversation changed my thinking and since then I have received gifts and thanks with much graciousness and joy.
My other struggle has been allowing God to provide for me. I was like many other Christians who said that I trusted God with everything but deep down I didn't. I would tithe when I had the extra money but if I didn't then I would "forget" my checkbook. My thinking was that somehow I was fooling God. This was the way my whole life was. I said I trusted God but ultimately I was trusting myself to provide and allowing God whenever it was OK.
Over the last 10 months, God has been pruning away my desire to be self-dependent. He caused me to see that only through Him do I have a job, food and shelter. He showed me that leaning on Him is more productive then trying to live for myself. This came strikingly clear as I searched for a job. At about the 3 month mark, I hadn't received a single call back on any of the over 100 jobs I had applied for. I began to think that maybe I was looking in the wrong place, so I talked to my now pastor and being his volunteer associate pastor. He basically hired me that weekend. I was floored, it wasn't much money but it was some. I was glad to be at Epworth. I then struggled with applying for other jobs. I knew that God was providing for us and that I was at the church I needed to be at but I felt that I needed something else to bring in more money to provide for myself. I had this internal struggle of applying for jobs versus trusting in God to put me where he wanted.
It was hard. Very hard to let go. Sadly, I continued to look for jobs because I didn't want to "give up" on what God might have for me but I knew that I wouldn't find anything because God didn't want me working anywhere else. I also began to realize that I needed to branch out my circle of friends. Since moving to Newburgh and leaving the church we moved here for, my circle was incredibly small to almost non-existent. God provided my a job, working at Walmart, to help this. I believe He has called me there to reach others for Him or at the very least be a friend to those who need it...
Thursday, June 14, 2012
What's Being Going On - Part 1
I know, I know, it has been a long time since I have blogged on this site. My life has been super crazy and I just haven't felt the need to write anything. I have a ton of ideas saved up and I am hoping to take another crack at this blogging thing.
I wanted to use this first blog to catch people up on what has been going on in my life. This will probably take a few blogs, so please be patient. The focus of this blog will probably change also. I will talk more about that later.
So what has been going on....
Over the last 18 months the life of our family has been a very crazy roller coaster. In March of 2011 we resigned from our position from Platte Woods UMC after almost 5 years of ministry. This is a decision that we felt God was asking us to make and after some needed push we did it. In our arrogance, we thought finding another position would be simple, unfortunately it wasn't. We looked for 7 months before we made the move to Newburgh and accepted a position at Newburgh UMC.
We were super excited about this move because we believed the church and staff were a good fit for us. We saw huge potential in the youth group and knew that this could be a long term position for us. Unfortunately, after just 3 months we were asked to resign for what was told us as "chemistry" between the leaders and I. I was floored. I had no idea this was coming and never expected it from this church. We knew that 3 months isn't long enough to get started much less make any significant progress but we accepted the reality of it and decided to move on.
So once again, less than a year later, we were on the look out for a new position. Again we thought there would be a quick resolution and we had a few bites right off the bat, but nothing came of it. We looked for youth ministry positions as well as secular work because we weren't sure that we wanted to move our kids after being here only 4 months.
We began to question God and how he could move us to a new location only to lose our job in 3 months. We had no idea what the plan was or where we would end up. The idea of moving again scared us because we had no financial means of doing it. We had already uprooted our family once that year and didn't want to do it again. We had no idea what God was wanting from us...
I wanted to use this first blog to catch people up on what has been going on in my life. This will probably take a few blogs, so please be patient. The focus of this blog will probably change also. I will talk more about that later.
So what has been going on....
We were super excited about this move because we believed the church and staff were a good fit for us. We saw huge potential in the youth group and knew that this could be a long term position for us. Unfortunately, after just 3 months we were asked to resign for what was told us as "chemistry" between the leaders and I. I was floored. I had no idea this was coming and never expected it from this church. We knew that 3 months isn't long enough to get started much less make any significant progress but we accepted the reality of it and decided to move on.
So once again, less than a year later, we were on the look out for a new position. Again we thought there would be a quick resolution and we had a few bites right off the bat, but nothing came of it. We looked for youth ministry positions as well as secular work because we weren't sure that we wanted to move our kids after being here only 4 months.
We began to question God and how he could move us to a new location only to lose our job in 3 months. We had no idea what the plan was or where we would end up. The idea of moving again scared us because we had no financial means of doing it. We had already uprooted our family once that year and didn't want to do it again. We had no idea what God was wanting from us...
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