Why Can't We All Get Along?

I am going to jump into the political side of things for a while.  I consider myself an independent on most everything.  I don't follow people blindly or because they align with a couple of my beliefs.  I live my life as a Christians but believe that we are all sinners and need God's love.  I believe what I believe because of years of searching myself, scripture and listening to God.  I know that people don't agree 100% with me, even within my own church or denomination.

My Will vs God's Will

I have never been one to rely on other people.  I have been on my own for most of my life.  I left my house at the age of (barely) 18, went to college and have never really returned home or asked for help from my parents.  While this might be commendable, this desire to be self-dependent has been a hindrance when it comes to trusting God to help you.


In my early times in ministry, I struggled when church members or people would come up and try to give me some sort of gift.  I would brush it off or let them know it was needed.  In some cases, they gave it anyways, other they just walked away.  When I was at a church in Mt. Juliet, TN, my pastor and I were talking about this and he told me that receiving gifts was allowing that person to fulfill what God was calling them to do and that by not accepting them, you were limiting their work.  I was floored.  I had never thought of it that way.  The conversation changed my thinking and since then I have received gifts and thanks with much graciousness and joy.


My other struggle has been allowing God to provide for me.  I was like many other Christians who said that I trusted God with everything but deep down I didn't.  I would tithe when I had the extra money but if I didn't then I would "forget" my checkbook.  My thinking was that somehow I was fooling God.  This was the way my whole life was.  I said I trusted God but ultimately I was trusting myself to provide and allowing God whenever it was OK.


Over the last 10 months, God has been pruning away my desire to be self-dependent.  He caused me to see that only through Him do I have a job, food and shelter.  He showed me that leaning on Him is more productive then trying to live for myself.  This came strikingly clear as I searched for a job.  At about the 3 month mark, I hadn't received a single call back on any of the over 100 jobs I had applied for.  I began to think that maybe I was looking in the wrong place, so I talked to my now pastor and being his volunteer associate pastor.  He basically hired me that weekend.  I was floored, it wasn't much money but it was some.  I was glad to be at Epworth.  I then struggled with applying for other jobs.  I knew that God was providing for us and that I was at the church I needed to be at but I felt that I needed something else to bring in more money to provide for myself.  I had this internal struggle of applying for jobs versus trusting in God to put me where he wanted.


It was hard.  Very hard to let go.  Sadly, I continued to look for jobs because I didn't want to "give up" on what God might have for me but I knew that I wouldn't find anything because God didn't want me working anywhere else.  I also began to realize that I needed to branch out my circle of friends.  Since moving to Newburgh and leaving the church we moved here for, my circle was incredibly small to almost non-existent.  God provided my a job, working at Walmart, to help this.  I believe He has called me there to reach others for Him or at the very least be a friend to those who need it...

What's Being Going On - Part 1

I know, I know, it has been a long time since I have blogged on this site.  My life has been super crazy and I just haven't felt the need to write anything.  I have a ton of ideas saved up and I am hoping to take another crack at this blogging thing.

I wanted to use this first blog to catch people up on what has been going on in my life.  This will probably take a few blogs, so please be patient.  The focus of this blog will probably change also.  I will talk more about that later.


So what has been going on....

Over the last 18 months the life of our family has been a very crazy roller coaster.  In March of 2011 we resigned from our position from Platte Woods UMC after almost 5 years of ministry.  This is a decision that we felt God was asking us to make and after some needed push we did it.  In our arrogance, we thought finding another position would be simple, unfortunately it wasn't.  We looked for 7 months before we made the move to Newburgh and accepted a position at Newburgh UMC.  

We were super excited about this move because we believed the church and staff were a good fit for us.  We saw huge potential in the youth group and knew that this could be a long term position for us.  Unfortunately, after just 3 months we were asked to resign for what was told us as "chemistry" between the leaders and I.  I was floored.  I had no idea this was coming and never expected it from this church.  We knew that 3 months isn't long enough to get started much less make any significant progress but we accepted the reality of it and decided to move on.


So once again, less than a year later, we were on the look out for a new position.  Again we thought there would be a quick resolution and we had a few bites right off the bat, but nothing came of it.  We looked for youth ministry positions as well as secular work because we weren't sure that we wanted to move our kids after being here only 4 months.

We began to question God and how he could move us to a new location only to lose our job in 3 months.  We had no idea what the plan was or where we would end up.  The idea of moving again scared us because we had no financial means of doing it.  We had already uprooted our family once that year and didn't want to do it again.  We had no idea what God was wanting from us...

Making Changes...

I have struggled for years on what to do with my blog. I started it as a personal space to write my thoughts and it morphed into a place to talk about ministry with some parenting stuck in but it never really had a unique identity. I want to write more and write on topics that others will want to read but a lot of times I think that so much is already being written by youth pastors all over the world. I asked God to show me what to do. Should I worry about it or let it go and focus on other things. I feel God is calling me to write more and bigger. I have it on my heart to write a book or two (at some point), articles for magazines but all that starts with this blog. This requires me to be more consistent in my writing and more purposeful.


I have said all that to say that I have purchased a unique domain for my blog , www.iamsoulshaper.com. This name reflects the username I have been using for a while that has meant something deep to me. I have actually stolen the name from my brother-in-law, Mark.  Mark used to design and shape his own surfboards.  I loved to surf and tried to whenever I went to Florida.  In talking with Mark about the name, he explained the spiritual nature of surfing and how you connect with nature while you are sitting waiting for the next wave.  He felt that by shaping the boards, he was helping others to find that spiritualness.


I took the name a step further and applied it to what I was called to do.  God has called to minister to students and to help them develop a faith in Him. This is reflected in the name Soulshaper.   I am a shaper of souls, helping those to discover who God is and how to have a relationship with Him.  I came to a full realization of this while at Group Publishing with 100 other youth pastors.  We get together each year and Rick Lawrence leads us in experiential exercises.   This year he talked about our names.  We paired up with another person and they were to name us, then later on, we were to ask God what He would call us.  God confirmed the name Soulshaper to me.  I was amazed and blessed.


So with my new found confirmation.  I am excited about this change and the new domain. The look and feel of the blog won't change, just what I write about. This blog will be dedicated to helping youth pastors and parents to reach teenagers. I will also include some personal and church specific topics but it will all be within the context of helping others. I know I am one person among many writing about youth ministry but I believe God has gifted me with a heart to help others.


I am already in the process of queueing up articles for the next couple weeks.  So please, follow me on Facebook, twitter @soulshaper and via the blog reader.  If you have a specific topic you would like me to talk about, leave a comment and let me know.

Why is is called Fast Food, when it isn't...

The image to the right is something I might normally eat for lunch. A burger, a taco, french fries, Chinese, or any other fast-food/restaurant that is around my work. Today I didn't, and hopefully that will start a trend. You see last night Pastor Don asked us if we would fast for revival to come to our church. He didn't ask anyone to raise their hands or anything but just wanted to know if anyone would. Well, I thought about it briefly and then kind of dismissed it and let it go.

I have tried to fast in the past, but have always given in. Most of my day is spent sitting at a computer, so if I am hungry I know it and can dwell on it all day long. So when he mentioned it, I just pushed it aside and let other people worry about it. I mean, I want revival to come to our church, and I would love for it to happen within our youth group, but not eating all day is hard work. Well, I know now that God wasn't going to let me off that easy. By the time I went to bed last night, I had decided that I will fast today, no matter what. From breakfast to lunch to dinner.

I don't want to sound arrogant or egotistical for blogging about something like this, but I want it to be a witness to my teens and those that read my blog. God has been working in my life over the last several years. I know that sounds weird because any Christian will tell you that God is working in their life, but for me the work is very pointed and direct. There are areas in my life that God has focused on and help me to change or to overcome what I was doing. He has guided me, shaped me and helped me to be more direct and focused when I study his word, or pray or even worship because for years I had been playing church and going through the motions of Christianity. It has taken years for God to work through and help me to stop doing that.

Yesterday at a Bible study, I taught my students about spending time with God and some things that happen when we do, and that continues through today. I was tempted to go ahead and order lunch today, knowing that no one would know that I didn't fast, but then I thought "what if Jesus decided not to get up on that cross". Now I know that is a pretty bold comparison, but it works. We are too comfortable in our dealings with God and each other. Most of our lives are spent just doing what is easy and feels right. We don't want to stress too much, because we really don't have to. If it is too hot outside, we just wait until it cools off and enjoy the air conditioning. If the work might be too hard and we aren't getting paid a lot, well we just tend to let the job go.

I enjoy most of my life in a comfortable air conditioned cubicle. Being outside is too much, it is too hot, or too muggy. Well, today instead of eating I walked around a little track we have outside our office and talked with God. Asking questions, giving him praise and just trying to be still and let him talk to me. I am still hungry, and will be until tomorrow morning. I have made a sacrifice today, but it is in no comparison to the sacrifice that God made for me and no matter how hard I try, I will never get to that point. God wants to be glorified in our lives today, and hopefully you will see Him in me.

"Be still, and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10