My Will vs God's Will

I have never been one to rely on other people.  I have been on my own for most of my life.  I left my house at the age of (barely) 18, went to college and have never really returned home or asked for help from my parents.  While this might be commendable, this desire to be self-dependent has been a hindrance when it comes to trusting God to help you.


In my early times in ministry, I struggled when church members or people would come up and try to give me some sort of gift.  I would brush it off or let them know it was needed.  In some cases, they gave it anyways, other they just walked away.  When I was at a church in Mt. Juliet, TN, my pastor and I were talking about this and he told me that receiving gifts was allowing that person to fulfill what God was calling them to do and that by not accepting them, you were limiting their work.  I was floored.  I had never thought of it that way.  The conversation changed my thinking and since then I have received gifts and thanks with much graciousness and joy.


My other struggle has been allowing God to provide for me.  I was like many other Christians who said that I trusted God with everything but deep down I didn't.  I would tithe when I had the extra money but if I didn't then I would "forget" my checkbook.  My thinking was that somehow I was fooling God.  This was the way my whole life was.  I said I trusted God but ultimately I was trusting myself to provide and allowing God whenever it was OK.


Over the last 10 months, God has been pruning away my desire to be self-dependent.  He caused me to see that only through Him do I have a job, food and shelter.  He showed me that leaning on Him is more productive then trying to live for myself.  This came strikingly clear as I searched for a job.  At about the 3 month mark, I hadn't received a single call back on any of the over 100 jobs I had applied for.  I began to think that maybe I was looking in the wrong place, so I talked to my now pastor and being his volunteer associate pastor.  He basically hired me that weekend.  I was floored, it wasn't much money but it was some.  I was glad to be at Epworth.  I then struggled with applying for other jobs.  I knew that God was providing for us and that I was at the church I needed to be at but I felt that I needed something else to bring in more money to provide for myself.  I had this internal struggle of applying for jobs versus trusting in God to put me where he wanted.


It was hard.  Very hard to let go.  Sadly, I continued to look for jobs because I didn't want to "give up" on what God might have for me but I knew that I wouldn't find anything because God didn't want me working anywhere else.  I also began to realize that I needed to branch out my circle of friends.  Since moving to Newburgh and leaving the church we moved here for, my circle was incredibly small to almost non-existent.  God provided my a job, working at Walmart, to help this.  I believe He has called me there to reach others for Him or at the very least be a friend to those who need it...

What is Going On - Part 3

We have had a rough 7 months and we still aren't sure where we are going.  I landed a part-time position at Epworth UMC as their Director of Family Ministries.  I am working under a great pastor named Bill who, funny enough, isn't Methodist but is leading a Methodist Church (that is a post for another day).  He has great knowledge of the church and is my mentor in the UMC Licensing process.  He has a heart for reaching the lost and doing justice.  He has brought this church through some major tough times.  I am glad to be working with and learning from him.

What's Being Going On - Part 1

I know, I know, it has been a long time since I have blogged on this site.  My life has been super crazy and I just haven't felt the need to write anything.  I have a ton of ideas saved up and I am hoping to take another crack at this blogging thing.

I wanted to use this first blog to catch people up on what has been going on in my life.  This will probably take a few blogs, so please be patient.  The focus of this blog will probably change also.  I will talk more about that later.


So what has been going on....

Over the last 18 months the life of our family has been a very crazy roller coaster.  In March of 2011 we resigned from our position from Platte Woods UMC after almost 5 years of ministry.  This is a decision that we felt God was asking us to make and after some needed push we did it.  In our arrogance, we thought finding another position would be simple, unfortunately it wasn't.  We looked for 7 months before we made the move to Newburgh and accepted a position at Newburgh UMC.  

We were super excited about this move because we believed the church and staff were a good fit for us.  We saw huge potential in the youth group and knew that this could be a long term position for us.  Unfortunately, after just 3 months we were asked to resign for what was told us as "chemistry" between the leaders and I.  I was floored.  I had no idea this was coming and never expected it from this church.  We knew that 3 months isn't long enough to get started much less make any significant progress but we accepted the reality of it and decided to move on.


So once again, less than a year later, we were on the look out for a new position.  Again we thought there would be a quick resolution and we had a few bites right off the bat, but nothing came of it.  We looked for youth ministry positions as well as secular work because we weren't sure that we wanted to move our kids after being here only 4 months.

We began to question God and how he could move us to a new location only to lose our job in 3 months.  We had no idea what the plan was or where we would end up.  The idea of moving again scared us because we had no financial means of doing it.  We had already uprooted our family once that year and didn't want to do it again.  We had no idea what God was wanting from us...

Making Changes...

I have struggled for years on what to do with my blog. I started it as a personal space to write my thoughts and it morphed into a place to talk about ministry with some parenting stuck in but it never really had a unique identity. I want to write more and write on topics that others will want to read but a lot of times I think that so much is already being written by youth pastors all over the world. I asked God to show me what to do. Should I worry about it or let it go and focus on other things. I feel God is calling me to write more and bigger. I have it on my heart to write a book or two (at some point), articles for magazines but all that starts with this blog. This requires me to be more consistent in my writing and more purposeful.


I have said all that to say that I have purchased a unique domain for my blog , www.iamsoulshaper.com. This name reflects the username I have been using for a while that has meant something deep to me. I have actually stolen the name from my brother-in-law, Mark.  Mark used to design and shape his own surfboards.  I loved to surf and tried to whenever I went to Florida.  In talking with Mark about the name, he explained the spiritual nature of surfing and how you connect with nature while you are sitting waiting for the next wave.  He felt that by shaping the boards, he was helping others to find that spiritualness.


I took the name a step further and applied it to what I was called to do.  God has called to minister to students and to help them develop a faith in Him. This is reflected in the name Soulshaper.   I am a shaper of souls, helping those to discover who God is and how to have a relationship with Him.  I came to a full realization of this while at Group Publishing with 100 other youth pastors.  We get together each year and Rick Lawrence leads us in experiential exercises.   This year he talked about our names.  We paired up with another person and they were to name us, then later on, we were to ask God what He would call us.  God confirmed the name Soulshaper to me.  I was amazed and blessed.


So with my new found confirmation.  I am excited about this change and the new domain. The look and feel of the blog won't change, just what I write about. This blog will be dedicated to helping youth pastors and parents to reach teenagers. I will also include some personal and church specific topics but it will all be within the context of helping others. I know I am one person among many writing about youth ministry but I believe God has gifted me with a heart to help others.


I am already in the process of queueing up articles for the next couple weeks.  So please, follow me on Facebook, twitter @soulshaper and via the blog reader.  If you have a specific topic you would like me to talk about, leave a comment and let me know.

Going Retro: He's still working on me...

This was posted on 08/08/06


Over the last few months, God has really been working on me. I have struggled with where my place is in my life. Now, that might seem strange to some of you, but in Roy's world it makes perfect sense. You see, I know that God has called me to be a Youth Pastor. I know it beyond a shadow of a doubt. The question comes when I ask myself if I am doing what He has called me to do. Most of you know I am a Youth Pastor. I have about 30 teens that I am responsible for. I love doing this.  I mean, I truly do Love doing this. My students are great. I have a great time talking to them. BUT, am I doing what God has called me to do.

Going Retro: Stick's and Stones may break your bones...

This was posted on 08/24/06

While leading a tour of kindergarten students through our hospital, I overheard a conversation between one little girl and an x-ray technician.

"Have you ever broken a bone?" he asked.

"Yes," the girl replied.

"Did it hurt?"

"No."

"Really? Which bone did you break?"

"My sister's arm."

Suggestions for Parents: Parent Expectations of Church

As a parent I have learned the value of help. I know that my wife and I don't know everything. We know that our kids will probably talk to other adults more than they talk to us. My kids have had the pleasure of being a part of many different church homes. Some of them with great children's ministry and some with ok ministries. Each ministry gave my kids something different and special. I have seen the benefit the church has on our kids.

Suggestions for Parents: Church Expectations of Parents

They say that hindsight is 20/20. It is easy to look back on what decisions we made and critique them. To look and see what we would have done differently. As a youth pastor, I have the benefit of being able to view many different family dynamics. I spend time researching families and how they should act and then I get to try to help families discover what they should do. I find that most of the times, parents don't know what they should really be doing because growing up they were never shown what to do.

Suggestions for Parents: Faith Starts at Home

This week I am going to do a five part series on suggestions for parents. This isn't because I think I am a better parent than others. I know that I still have a lot to learn, especially since I only have a 7th grader. My advice may be more like, do as I say not as I do type advice. Each post is a reminder to me of what I should be doing with my own kids.