Disciplining Students: Follow the 3R's

We all know the disciplining students is never fun.  We hate to be the bad guy.  Unfortunately this is an issue that every ministry has to deal with.  Remember that disciplining students is not about anger or fear but about controlling the situation and respect for the other students.  Sometimes students who are being disruptive need extra love and support and other times they are just causing problems.  It is up to you to determine the situation.  Make sure that no matter what you do, you let the student know they are loved and accepted but that they are expected to maintain a certain level of respect for the group.  

Here at Flite Ministries we follow the 3R Rule.  Remind, Reseat and Remove.  On the first instance (whatever you deem that to be) we Remind the student why they are there.  In the case of small groups, some students may just not want to be there but reminding them helps them to know that there are students who do want to be there.  If the disruptions continue, Reseat the student somewhere else.  In a small group setting, you may want to bring that student next to one of the adults in the group.  We hope that by Reseating a student, that will take away some temptations for them to cause disruptions.  Finally, if the student continues being disruptive, we need to Remove them from the small group.   Normally this is a phone call to the parents to come pick up their student. 

If you decide to make a phone call to parents, follow these steps: 

1. If you are an adult leader (not the Youth Pastor), let the Youth Pastor know what you are doing.
2. Have the student call the parents, letting them know that they need to be picked up and why.
3. Talk to the parents (on the phone) after the student does, explaining the steps that were taken and the reasons that student is being asked to leave.
4. Wait with the student until the parent arrives, making sure to speak with the parent about what has happened and letting them know that their student is welcomed back next week.

I hope that it never comes to removing a student from the small group but sometimes that is what is needed.  No matter what we do, we need to emphasize that we love the student and want them to be involved but that they need to respect you, the leader, and the other students who might want to learn something.  

If the student continues to be a problem in the following weeks, you may need to let the student know they need to take a season away from the small group (determine how long that might be) so they can decide if the small group is really where they want to be.  As much as we love having students here, we need to teach them about respect for the teachers and the other students.  By following the 3R's, we give the student plenty of opportunity to fix the situation.

There is never a good one-way to discipline students.  You always need to look at the student and the situation before moving forward.  You know your students and your adult leaders, so make sure to talk with them and empower them to make the decisions needed.

Worship, more than just music.

"In our life Lord, be lifted high".  Those are the words to the song blaring through my computer right now.  I am locked away and listening to some Hillsong United and feeling God fill me up.

How many of us take the time to allow God to work through us in worship?  In most churches, worship is limited to just the singing we do before preaching.  If you were to ask the average church attender, that is what you would hear.  This is a very limited few of worship.  If we think that only singing is worship, then some of us are missing the boat.  Worship is so much more.  Worship is allowing God to "be lifted high" in what we are doing.  Ultimately, the life we lead should be a continual worship of God.  

Luke 19:29-40 tells us  "Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, “Teacher, rebuke your disciples!" “I tell you,” he replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.”  If we don't worship God, then His creation will do it.  We are His crowning jewel but if we don't live up to our call then someone else will do it.  I am learning more and more to allow other forms of worship to fill my time.  I love music and I always will.  I have a vast collection of music that sits on my iPod.  Sometimes I just sit and blare the music so that my own thoughts are blocked out and try to allow God to speak through the music.  In spite of this, I am using other forms of worship to move me.

This past Sunday at Refuel we talked about worship and participated in many different forms of worship.  I wasn't sure how the students would take it.  I figured some of them would enjoy it while others might be confused but we moved forward anyways.  I was amazed at our turnout and of those students who took it seriously.  I am thankful for Ginger, our prayer pastor, who came in and helped us.

During our time together we participated in the following types of worship:

• Praise & Worship - Fliteline did a great job in leading us in musical worship.  They are doing a great job and the students are loving the new songs
• Your Art - We gave the students time to practice their art. We told them to express what God has done in their life by using crayons, markers, play dough, scissors, glue and paper. Each of us has our own art or way to express ourselves and we wanted each student to find theirs.
• Scripture Reading - Matt came on stage and read Psalm 23 to all of us.  I love his voice and he did a great job
• Prayer Stances - This was the big part of our evening.  We went through 5 different prayer stances and focused on different areas of the students lives with each one.  The students formed groups of 3.
• Kneeling - We confessed and committed ourselves to God so that we may be filled with him
• Standing - We stood in the gap for our Government, Church and Families
• Arms held high - Like Moses we lifted our arms to pray for the battles in our schools, our neighborhoods and our friends
• Sat down - Each student took turns prayer for each other.  Laying on hands and lifting them up to God.
• Circle Up, Hold Hands - We finished our prayer time by having Ginger pray for Flite Ministries. She prayed for all the leaders and students that we would continue to follow God and do His will.
• Communion - Ginger served us communion and reminded us of why we do what we do and of the sacrifice that Jesus made for us.

We ended the night with Fliteline leading us in "Take It All" by Hillsong United.  I love the energy in the song and the way the students get into it.  I know this isn't a complete list and each of us could think of several different ways to worship God.  One thing I want the students to know is that we should be worshiping God 24/7/365.  We cannot limit our worship to a couple hours each week that we are in church.  We need to find time to worship his as we live our lives, no matter where we are or what we are doing.

*** I want to thank Jana Sarti at Saddleback Church of giving me the service they used during the PDYM SLC.

If you are interested in what we did, here is a link to my outline (adapted from Jana's)

JUST FINISHED SENDING OUT THE FLITE WEEKLY EMAIL, HTTP://TINYURL.COM/FLITEMIN

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JUST FOUND OUT A YP FRIEND LOST HIS JOB YESTERDAY, JUST BOUGHT A HOUSE. NOT COOL. IF U KNOW ANY1 LOOKING 4 A YP, LET ME KNOW.

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Gerting a friend for lunch to talk about YM. Always good advice from him.

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Had an incredible night at Refuel talking about Worship & diff forms of worship.

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Sitting at Zona Rosa watching the kids play in the splash area. Had a good walk to get here

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