My Will vs God's Will

I have never been one to rely on other people.  I have been on my own for most of my life.  I left my house at the age of (barely) 18, went to college and have never really returned home or asked for help from my parents.  While this might be commendable, this desire to be self-dependent has been a hindrance when it comes to trusting God to help you.


In my early times in ministry, I struggled when church members or people would come up and try to give me some sort of gift.  I would brush it off or let them know it was needed.  In some cases, they gave it anyways, other they just walked away.  When I was at a church in Mt. Juliet, TN, my pastor and I were talking about this and he told me that receiving gifts was allowing that person to fulfill what God was calling them to do and that by not accepting them, you were limiting their work.  I was floored.  I had never thought of it that way.  The conversation changed my thinking and since then I have received gifts and thanks with much graciousness and joy.


My other struggle has been allowing God to provide for me.  I was like many other Christians who said that I trusted God with everything but deep down I didn't.  I would tithe when I had the extra money but if I didn't then I would "forget" my checkbook.  My thinking was that somehow I was fooling God.  This was the way my whole life was.  I said I trusted God but ultimately I was trusting myself to provide and allowing God whenever it was OK.


Over the last 10 months, God has been pruning away my desire to be self-dependent.  He caused me to see that only through Him do I have a job, food and shelter.  He showed me that leaning on Him is more productive then trying to live for myself.  This came strikingly clear as I searched for a job.  At about the 3 month mark, I hadn't received a single call back on any of the over 100 jobs I had applied for.  I began to think that maybe I was looking in the wrong place, so I talked to my now pastor and being his volunteer associate pastor.  He basically hired me that weekend.  I was floored, it wasn't much money but it was some.  I was glad to be at Epworth.  I then struggled with applying for other jobs.  I knew that God was providing for us and that I was at the church I needed to be at but I felt that I needed something else to bring in more money to provide for myself.  I had this internal struggle of applying for jobs versus trusting in God to put me where he wanted.


It was hard.  Very hard to let go.  Sadly, I continued to look for jobs because I didn't want to "give up" on what God might have for me but I knew that I wouldn't find anything because God didn't want me working anywhere else.  I also began to realize that I needed to branch out my circle of friends.  Since moving to Newburgh and leaving the church we moved here for, my circle was incredibly small to almost non-existent.  God provided my a job, working at Walmart, to help this.  I believe He has called me there to reach others for Him or at the very least be a friend to those who need it...

Making Changes...

I have struggled for years on what to do with my blog. I started it as a personal space to write my thoughts and it morphed into a place to talk about ministry with some parenting stuck in but it never really had a unique identity. I want to write more and write on topics that others will want to read but a lot of times I think that so much is already being written by youth pastors all over the world. I asked God to show me what to do. Should I worry about it or let it go and focus on other things. I feel God is calling me to write more and bigger. I have it on my heart to write a book or two (at some point), articles for magazines but all that starts with this blog. This requires me to be more consistent in my writing and more purposeful.


I have said all that to say that I have purchased a unique domain for my blog , www.iamsoulshaper.com. This name reflects the username I have been using for a while that has meant something deep to me. I have actually stolen the name from my brother-in-law, Mark.  Mark used to design and shape his own surfboards.  I loved to surf and tried to whenever I went to Florida.  In talking with Mark about the name, he explained the spiritual nature of surfing and how you connect with nature while you are sitting waiting for the next wave.  He felt that by shaping the boards, he was helping others to find that spiritualness.


I took the name a step further and applied it to what I was called to do.  God has called to minister to students and to help them develop a faith in Him. This is reflected in the name Soulshaper.   I am a shaper of souls, helping those to discover who God is and how to have a relationship with Him.  I came to a full realization of this while at Group Publishing with 100 other youth pastors.  We get together each year and Rick Lawrence leads us in experiential exercises.   This year he talked about our names.  We paired up with another person and they were to name us, then later on, we were to ask God what He would call us.  God confirmed the name Soulshaper to me.  I was amazed and blessed.


So with my new found confirmation.  I am excited about this change and the new domain. The look and feel of the blog won't change, just what I write about. This blog will be dedicated to helping youth pastors and parents to reach teenagers. I will also include some personal and church specific topics but it will all be within the context of helping others. I know I am one person among many writing about youth ministry but I believe God has gifted me with a heart to help others.


I am already in the process of queueing up articles for the next couple weeks.  So please, follow me on Facebook, twitter @soulshaper and via the blog reader.  If you have a specific topic you would like me to talk about, leave a comment and let me know.

Faith in God, more than words

I sat in the Sunday morning service of Tiffany Fellowship, knowing the we were predestined to be there. You see, the pastor was speaking about worrying and using the reference from Luke 12:22-31 plus a few other verses. The pastor's point was that if we worry about what is going to happen, then our faith isn't faith at all. As I sat there, I couldn't believe it. This was exactly what I needed to hear. You see, just that week we had been devastated at hearing from a few churches that we thought we were good candidates for. We were excited that our search process would be quick and painless. We had interviewed with some great churches and we thought we were in the running. Unfortunately, they didn't pan out. We had become frustrated and disappointed.

As I sat there in that service, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I cannot say I have faith in God but then question how He does things in my life. We had given this search to God. We knew He would put us in a great place, He had done it before. I was ashamed, especially after the pastor used the term "Practical Athiest" for me. I was someone who believed in God but didn't have faith in Him or I was good as saying but not as good as doing. I was ashamed. I knew better. I knew that God would take care of us. I became like most people and thought it would happen in my time.

Since that Sunday morning, I have thought a lot about what the pastor talked about. I have thought and prayed about how I was and how I was feeling. In the two weeks that have followed, we have talked to a few more churches. We have been turned down by a couple and we have a couple who seem really excited about us. Each day we have remembered that sermon and this verse, Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not worry about to or row, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own". I cannot say I have faith and not trust God to do His will. I have to continued to trust Him with my entire life, not just what I have control over.

I have to keep reminding myself that worrying isn't going to help me get a position. I must continue to put my faith in God. How about you?

Going Retro: He's still working on me...

This was posted on 08/08/06


Over the last few months, God has really been working on me. I have struggled with where my place is in my life. Now, that might seem strange to some of you, but in Roy's world it makes perfect sense. You see, I know that God has called me to be a Youth Pastor. I know it beyond a shadow of a doubt. The question comes when I ask myself if I am doing what He has called me to do. Most of you know I am a Youth Pastor. I have about 30 teens that I am responsible for. I love doing this.  I mean, I truly do Love doing this. My students are great. I have a great time talking to them. BUT, am I doing what God has called me to do.

Going Retro: Stick's and Stones may break your bones...

This was posted on 08/24/06

While leading a tour of kindergarten students through our hospital, I overheard a conversation between one little girl and an x-ray technician.

"Have you ever broken a bone?" he asked.

"Yes," the girl replied.

"Did it hurt?"

"No."

"Really? Which bone did you break?"

"My sister's arm."

Going Retro: You Can Please Some of the People....

This was posted on 08/21/06


...some of the time, all of the people none of the time. This is something that is painful from some people to grasp. I know lots of people that try to be everything to everyone. I see it at work, in my family and in my friends. In ministry it is equally hard. As a youth pastor, I have to deal with pastors, boards, students, parents and the congregation. You have tons of different opinions of what you should do and how you should do it. For the most part, I haven't had a tons of problems with people and I am usually good at dealing with it.

I am leaving Platte Woods

One of the hardest things to do in ministry is to leave, especially when things are going great.  This is the situation that my family and I are in right now.  Last week, I resigned as Youth Pastor at Platte Woods UMC.  I have been in this position for almost 4 years.  In May of 2007, our family made the 500 mile drive from Nashville, TN to answer the call of God.


We have had an incredible time and done some amazing things.  Over the last 6 months or so, we have felt that God was calling us to something else.  We battled and prayed about it and finally made the decision.  We are taking a huge step in faith but we know that He has a plan for our lives.