I held an impromptu parents meeting last Sunday night. I sent the email out on Friday and before the Sunday meeting, had received emails from all kinds of people asking questions about the meeting, worried about how far this has gone or wanted to know what was going on. I really didn't expect the attention. Sunday night came with almost 90 people in our worship area, over 30 of those were parents. I was excited about the number of parents that showed up, I didn't expect that many. I was glad for their passion for the ministry and I was eager for their input.
The overall feel of the meeting was positive. There was no arguing, back biting or name calling. The whole group sat around tables, this helped keep the conversation contained and productive. I was given some great feedback from the parents and students. Some ideas we will be able to work on, others just don't make sense for us. As the youth pastor, I am charged with making decisions that work for all the students involved, not just a few. This means that I sometimes have to make unpopular decisions regarding programming, curriculum or leaders. The funny thing about the whole meeting, was I think very few students even knew really what was going on. The positive that came out of this meeting was that I got a ton of support from parents and I was able to share my vision of the youth group with them, as well as some goals for 2009.
So how do you handle blame when it comes to changes in your ministry:
- Be Prepared: Never make decisions in a fast manner. Any good decision is going to take time and effort. This goes from the smallest to the largest change. In our case, we were making a timing change to our Sunday night youth worship, eliminating 30 minutes of hangout time for the students. This decision took us almost 6 months to make because we wanted to make the right decision
- Talk with others: Don't be afraid to be told your idea sucks. Talking to others helps you to process the decision better. You can list the good and bad points, weigh your options and look at it from all sides. Even teenagers don't like change, so make sure of what you are wanting to change and why
- Know the Reason Why: Always know why you are making a change. This may seem weird, but we sometimes get caught up in wanting things our way (especially new youth pastors) that we sometimes don't think of the implications. There are many good and valid reasons to make a change, just know what yours is
- Keep the Leadership in the Loop: I didn't do this as well as I should have but I know next time. We meet on Sunday night and are usually the only thing going on, thus any changes really don't affect anyone other than us. I did reassure my senior pastor that this meeting wasn't a major deal and if I needed his help I would talk to him.
Being the lead youth pastor means that I am paid to take the lumps. I did my best to put all the weight for this decision while still making sure people knew what we were doing before we did it. Again, change is never easy for students or adults. Always cover your butt when making MAJOR decisions
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