Suggestions for Parents: Church Expectations of Parents

They say that hindsight is 20/20. It is easy to look back on what decisions we made and critique them. To look and see what we would have done differently. As a youth pastor, I have the benefit of being able to view many different family dynamics. I spend time researching families and how they should act and then I get to try to help families discover what they should do. I find that most of the times, parents don't know what they should really be doing because growing up they were never shown what to do.

In the first two parts of this series, I look at "Faith Starts at Home" and "Where does your family focus their time?". In this blog, I am going to talk about the expectations of the church for parents. What does the church expect from parents? This might seem like a weird idea but we all have expectations and the church is no different. The church is an instrument that is used by God to reach people. Pastors, youth pastor and children's ministers have different expectations for their specific groups. This could be how they behave or what knowledge they have when they come in. Some churches have a much higher expectation than others.


You might be wondering, how in the world expect anything from parents? What right do they have to expect anything? As a parent, I am good if I just get my kid there. Now you want me to meet some criteria. The answer is yes. I once had a parent tell me that they didn't understand why their child acted up in church because everywhere else (school, band), he was perfect. I didn't know how to answer that question. I know that kids get comfortable in the church and so they believe they can act however they want. I am always on my own kids case because they sometimes forget what the church is.


The expectations of parents by the church are not requirements for any kind of faith development but ideas that we believe should be a part of the lives of kids in order to help facilitate that faith walk. If you child is good in school but a brat at church, do you believe the teacher is going to be able to reach them or others in that situation? Probably not. I know we love to think all our kids are angels but the truth is they are not and we need to deal with that sometimes. Here are a few expectations that I have for parents as a youth pastor.

• Discipline: We need to remember that the church is the church. This isn't to say that every student needs to come, sit down with hands folded and quietly sit and listen to the pastor but their should be some level of disciple. I have always told my students and their parents, when you are disruptive, you are keeping someone close to you from hearing God's word.
• Concern: Know what is going on in your kids life. I know that we don't always communicate the way that parents wish we would but when we do communicate, please pay attention. I have known parents who could tell you the exact time and date of every practice, game and meeting their child's sport team had but they couldn't remember when our Sunday night programming was. When you show concern for the church and its programming, so will your students.
• Be Examples: This is the tough one. If you want your student to love God and live a Godly lifestyle, then do the same. If you spend your time ignoring your student when you come home from work, then expect them to act the same way to you when you want to spend time with them. If you want your child to read their Bible and pray all the time, you better be showing them how to do it. The responsibility on us to raise Godly children is enormous but it is well worth it.
• Priority: Is God the first priority in your life? Really? Do you expect the church to make it their priority to be available when you wanted to spend time with God. As weird as that statement is, think about it. Have you ever complained of the time of an event because you had something else planned and then got mad when it wasn't changed. I alway try to look at the big schedule when planning events and sometimes their are conflicts. We must be willing to make church a priority in order to help our kids. I am not saying you need to be at every event in order to be a good Christian but being part of a community involves you showing up and being an active part.

I know that some might be thinking that I have no idea what I am talking about but remember, I am no different than anyone reading this. I struggle with all those. When your kids are at church all the time, it takes on a whole different meaning for them. My kids love to be at church and feel it is their second home. This brings about another set of issues. I am not saying doing these things will make your kids awesome Christians but it will help those who are trying to teach them to actually reach them.


What other expectations do you think we have?
1 of 5: Faith starts at the home
2 of 5: Priorities: Where does your family focus their time?
3 of 5: Expectations: What should the church expect from parents?
4 of 5: Expectation 2: What should the parents expect from the church?
5 of 5: Working together, what does our family ministry look like?