Prepare to be Annoyed!!!

Argh, do you know that life stinks sometimes. I mean it really does. This doesn't take away from anything that God is doing in my life. The annoyance comes from people who seem to have their own agenda when it comes to doing things, no matter how good or bad they are. This isn't to say that I am perfect, I am far from it, but sometimes people just really make me upset and really cause me issues.

Last week I blogged that I had told my board and students that I was looking for another position. This venture went against what most of my friends were telling me to do, because they had been on the bad end of it. For the most part, everyone excepted it and told us they were praying for us and wished us the best, but there were some that seemed almost mad at us for leaving. And I know that some people are just that way, but it really does cause problems. One of the saddest things I have found out during this transition is that the church can be an unfriendly place. At any point in time you have pastors, youth pastors, music ministers and other staff members who are secretly looking for another position because . But rather than being able to tell their church, their board, other staff members, people who should be wanting the best and praying for the will of God to be done, they hid it and pray like mad that no one finds out because they are scared of the problems that will arise when people find out they want to leave their current situation.

I was really hoping this would be different for me. I have been where I am 3 years and have served without question or expectations from the church. I know the situation and have repeatedly told myself that I was doing what I was doing because God had called me to do it. So when Beth and I believed it was time to start looking for something else, I was prepared to keep it quiet because like so many others before me, I didn't want any issues during this time. I didn't want my students to know for fear they would lose faith. I didn't want the church to know, for fear of writing me off as someone who was just on their way out. I wanted those groups to pray for me, wish me the best, to know that God was in charge of my life, but I held back because it was too big of a chance to take. I have worked hard over the last 3 years to get our group moving in the right direction and until something was solid, I didn't want them to even think that we might be leaving.

Well, that didn't work. From me telling people, to them telling people and so on and so forth, too many people started finding out and questioning me. People I hadn't even talked to for months knew about. People who had left our church almost a year ago, were calling to find out if it was true. The control I thought I had was being lost, so I did what I thought would be best and decided to spill the beans and pray for the best.

I told our board first, I knew that most of them knew what was going on. They had heard bits and pieces but I know that some misinformation was going around so I wanted to set the record straight. They accepted me telling them that Beth and I were looking and most of them told me that they were praying for us. I told the students/parents the next night, this went about how I thought it would. I emphasized to them that there was no one/issue that was causing us to look for something else. We had fully believed that God was calling us elsewhere, as much as we loved them and wanted to continue to be there, it just wouldn't work. For almost 5 years we have been waiting to go into full-time ministry and we believed the time was almost here.

I did have some students who got upset. They told us that we weren't allowed to leave. My biggest concern was that some would just leave the group because I wasn't going to be there. I did have some that said they were thinking about it, but hopefully I have convinced them to stay, to stand up and be leaders in the group. To help whoever takes over, once we do find something. I think for the most part the group will stay together. A great group of adults are being assembled to take over and keep the group running right.

So Sunday was the first day that I saw everyone. Some people who I hadn't talked to came up to me and were talking to me about it, others kind of just avoided me, and I told others who weren't at my meeting on Wednesday. The response was what I expected. Most people were happy for us, others weren't. The hardest part about this is keeping everything going until we know for 100% that we are leaving. We know it is going to happen soon, but we don't have a specific time frame. Over the last several weeks, I have been making preparations to leave. Making sure I am caught up on everything, getting people involved and in place so when the times comes the transition is smooth. I have done the same at my secular job. They know I am looking also, but that is it. They are content with me looking and really know that this has been my dream.

Anyways, that is my rant for the day. I know this isn't the ideal situation, but I know that God is in control and that no matter what happens, He is putting me where He wants me to be. I continue to pray for us, our youth group, our church and the people, that they know and can see that we aren't leaving because of anyone but God and that as Christians we should be excited for this kind of opportunity, not upset about it. We all need to set aside our personal agendas and work towards what God is calling us to do, whether in Nashville, Florida, DC, KY or wherever.

God is above our personal emotions and can work through any life.