Oh, the heart ache

I know that working with teenagers isn't easy. I have been doing it for more than 7 years now, but recently that pain has become more evident in a situation I am dealing with. Seeing the lives of students you spend years with, completely go south because they think they know what is best.

My heart hurts when I see teens go astray. When I see them leave the things that they have learned, because they believe it isn't worth it. I have seen the great side of it also, where a student gives their life to God and begins to change. I love this side and I wish it for all my students, but I know the reality that it doesn't happen every time.

I know that growing up is hard. I know the teenagers like to think they know best. I know that students believe they are in control of their lives and make choices to reflect that. I know the mistakes I made as a teenager and wish like anything that I could keep my students from making the same mistakes. I also have to know that God is in control. To know that no matter what that student does, I need to continue to love them because God loves them. To know that no matter how far they go, God is waiting to take them back with open arms. I need to remember that and to live that out.

Growing up today is hard. There are sooo many choices and freedoms that students are given. Most people under 20, grew up around age 13, either because they had to or because they choose to. The church should be a haven for students, not a place to get rejected. As a youth pastor I know my job is to love each student who walks threw my doors and present the gospel to them, whether they listen or not isn't in my control.

John 3:16 tells us that God did loved us so much that He gave His only Son to die for our sins. Youth Pastors don't have to give up our first born, but we do have to allow our students to make decisions on their own, as hard as it may be.

God's Timing, not ours...

Argh, is my word for the day. Sometimes I hate waiting on God. I get these nice neat little plans together and He goes and changes them and makes me wait longer. Most of my blog readers know that Beth and I have been looking for full-time ministry position for about 6-8 months. We have done a bunch of interviews and have even been offered a position but none of them have really panned out. We know that God is working in our lives and we know that He has something planned for us, we are just ready for Him to show us where He wants us to be.

The last couple weeks have been hard because we ended having to tell our church and our students that we were looking. I wasn't terribly upset to do that because I hated not being able to tell people. We know that this may cause some problems but we continue to trust in God that He will keep us and guide us where He wants us to go. We just want to be in full-time ministry, we don't really care where.

Well, we are continuing to wait. We thought we would have an offer within the last couple weeks but none have come. I am continuing to do interviews and looking for the right church but we continue to wait on God. Most of my life has been spent in spontaneity, with most of my decisions being made very quickly. And I know that God is in control. I know He knows the situation better than I do. I know He knows what I need to do in order to get my family ready to make the biggest move of our lives. But like a spoiled child, I want it now. I want to know the end of the story.

I love to watch Craig Ferguson on cbs.com. The man is really funny. In one of his dialogues he was talking about faith and how some people wanted to be sure about their faith and he said that you can't have both faith and certainty. If you have faith, then certainty doesn't matter, and if you have certainty then there is no need for faith. I know that God is working in my life to make my faith stronger. This is probably one of those times. Controlling my life has always been something I did myself, but over the years I have learned to give it over to Him. Most of the time I give Him lip service but still keeping my hand on the wheel, I believe this time, He is wanting total control and for me to move into the back seat where I can't touch the wheel.

Matthew 6:34 really speaks to this, and I know there are other places in the Bible that talks about worrying but this is the one I usually remember. "Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes."

I pray that God will continue to teach me faith and humility. Help me to know that I don't know everything and control nothing...

Staying in a hotel...

So this weekend, Beth and I are bachelors. We are kidless and staying in Baltimore, MD. We are here and having a great time. The hotel is really nice with some of the best beds/pillows I have ever had in a hotel. I couldn't believe it.

Anyways, just wanted to jot some notes and let everyone know why I am not blogging, will be back on Monday.

What to blog, what to blog?

I don't always know what to write when I go to blog. Sometimes something will hit me and I will start to type, other times I leave the window open until something comes to me or I will just start making something up that has no relevance whatsoever.

Today is one of those days. I don't have a lot to say because I have pretty much said it. Lots of stuff going on in my life right now but nothing I haven't already blogged about. Beth and I are getting ready to head to Baltimore, MD to spend some time with friends and family and look around. We are looking forward to the time away from the kids (all of them) and I know this is a much needed break for Beth.

I guess I can talk about what I am going to talk to my students about tonight and the next couple weeks. I am committing 3 weeks of Wednesday nights on how to study the Bible. We are going to talk tonight about the actual Bible, its history, translations, authority plus I will show them some other tools that they can use to study, ie commentaries, dictionaries, lexicons, concordances, etc. Next week we will look at doing some exegesis on a particular verse. I will give them ways to study the Bible and how to look up information to help them get into the word, and then the 14th of March we will do some practical stuff like actually doing a Bible study where the students put the stuff together. I am hoping that they take away a basic understanding of how to study the Bible, how to really into God's word and go beyond the surface translation and see how it fits into their life.

As a new Christian I never got the right tools to do this. I wasn't told how to actually study the Bible, how to get into the words and break down author, location, culture, etc to determine why it was written and then to try to interpret it in todays setting. God's word is fascinating to get into, mainly because you can never get enough. There is no end to what you can get out of it. I read a blog last week that talked about the Bible being badly written because it could be interpreted in different ways by different people reading the same section of verses, but to me, that is the genius of the Bible. The Bible is filled with such mystery, if we could ever get everything out of it, then it would be just another book, but God didn't set it up that way. Instead he gave us a puzzle to undo as we grow closer to Him. The words change as we apply them to our lives, first as new Christians learning what it all means, then as wholly sanctified believers who are studying to continue living in God's will.

One thing I regret is not listening like I should when I was younger. Not studying or memorizing scripture like I know others have. But God continues to work through me and help me to grow closer to Him and more interested in the Bible...

Leave me some comments on your particular method of studying God's word?

Prepare to be Annoyed!!!

Argh, do you know that life stinks sometimes. I mean it really does. This doesn't take away from anything that God is doing in my life. The annoyance comes from people who seem to have their own agenda when it comes to doing things, no matter how good or bad they are. This isn't to say that I am perfect, I am far from it, but sometimes people just really make me upset and really cause me issues.

Last week I blogged that I had told my board and students that I was looking for another position. This venture went against what most of my friends were telling me to do, because they had been on the bad end of it. For the most part, everyone excepted it and told us they were praying for us and wished us the best, but there were some that seemed almost mad at us for leaving. And I know that some people are just that way, but it really does cause problems. One of the saddest things I have found out during this transition is that the church can be an unfriendly place. At any point in time you have pastors, youth pastors, music ministers and other staff members who are secretly looking for another position because . But rather than being able to tell their church, their board, other staff members, people who should be wanting the best and praying for the will of God to be done, they hid it and pray like mad that no one finds out because they are scared of the problems that will arise when people find out they want to leave their current situation.

I was really hoping this would be different for me. I have been where I am 3 years and have served without question or expectations from the church. I know the situation and have repeatedly told myself that I was doing what I was doing because God had called me to do it. So when Beth and I believed it was time to start looking for something else, I was prepared to keep it quiet because like so many others before me, I didn't want any issues during this time. I didn't want my students to know for fear they would lose faith. I didn't want the church to know, for fear of writing me off as someone who was just on their way out. I wanted those groups to pray for me, wish me the best, to know that God was in charge of my life, but I held back because it was too big of a chance to take. I have worked hard over the last 3 years to get our group moving in the right direction and until something was solid, I didn't want them to even think that we might be leaving.

Well, that didn't work. From me telling people, to them telling people and so on and so forth, too many people started finding out and questioning me. People I hadn't even talked to for months knew about. People who had left our church almost a year ago, were calling to find out if it was true. The control I thought I had was being lost, so I did what I thought would be best and decided to spill the beans and pray for the best.

I told our board first, I knew that most of them knew what was going on. They had heard bits and pieces but I know that some misinformation was going around so I wanted to set the record straight. They accepted me telling them that Beth and I were looking and most of them told me that they were praying for us. I told the students/parents the next night, this went about how I thought it would. I emphasized to them that there was no one/issue that was causing us to look for something else. We had fully believed that God was calling us elsewhere, as much as we loved them and wanted to continue to be there, it just wouldn't work. For almost 5 years we have been waiting to go into full-time ministry and we believed the time was almost here.

I did have some students who got upset. They told us that we weren't allowed to leave. My biggest concern was that some would just leave the group because I wasn't going to be there. I did have some that said they were thinking about it, but hopefully I have convinced them to stay, to stand up and be leaders in the group. To help whoever takes over, once we do find something. I think for the most part the group will stay together. A great group of adults are being assembled to take over and keep the group running right.

So Sunday was the first day that I saw everyone. Some people who I hadn't talked to came up to me and were talking to me about it, others kind of just avoided me, and I told others who weren't at my meeting on Wednesday. The response was what I expected. Most people were happy for us, others weren't. The hardest part about this is keeping everything going until we know for 100% that we are leaving. We know it is going to happen soon, but we don't have a specific time frame. Over the last several weeks, I have been making preparations to leave. Making sure I am caught up on everything, getting people involved and in place so when the times comes the transition is smooth. I have done the same at my secular job. They know I am looking also, but that is it. They are content with me looking and really know that this has been my dream.

Anyways, that is my rant for the day. I know this isn't the ideal situation, but I know that God is in control and that no matter what happens, He is putting me where He wants me to be. I continue to pray for us, our youth group, our church and the people, that they know and can see that we aren't leaving because of anyone but God and that as Christians we should be excited for this kind of opportunity, not upset about it. We all need to set aside our personal agendas and work towards what God is calling us to do, whether in Nashville, Florida, DC, KY or wherever.

God is above our personal emotions and can work through any life.

Watch the Video - Skateboarding Youth Pastor

Here is a short clip of CJ and I skateboarding. Nothing exciting about it except to see CJ fall. My boys have really gotten into skateboarding and do it all the time at church. Either inside or outside. Enjoy the video.

redeeming Ruth

I blogged a while ago about the fact that I listen to a podcast by a pastor named Mark Driscoll at Mars Hill Church in Seattle, WA. Mark is one of the best, most practical preachers I have heard in a long time. He is a very dynamic and grounded speaker. His messages are good for those who are new to faith or have been longtime Christians.

Currently he is in a series about the book of Ruth. I have listened to 3 of the sermons and can't wait to hear the rest. His speaking brings the text to life. He makes it very real to your life and does a great job of making sense of it all.

Check out their site and listen to them, you will become hooked like I am.

The Cat is out of the bag

The cat is out of the bag. We have announced to our teens that we are looking for a full-time ministry position somewhere. They know that God has called us into youth ministry and now they know that God is calling us somewhere else. We love them and we love working with them, but we feel that God is going to open another door for us pretty soon.

I have my resume out on Youthspecialties.com and have for the last 6-8 months. We have interviewed at various churches and have even been offered a position, but we didn't feel that was where God is calling us. Beth and I are very excited about this oppurtunity and we hope that our students and our church body are excited for us also. We are praying for God's will in this, not our own selfish desires. This is going to be a pretty big step for us and we are being as careful as possible not to make the wrong move. The lives of our children are involved and so we don't want to put them through any unnecessary hassle in choosing the wrong place.

Our decision to tell everyone was hard. The news had been leaking out slowly that we were looking, and we felt it best to tell people ourselves rather than hearing it through someone else. I had one person asked me if we were moving to Minnesota, so I knew what was being said wasn't right. We are in the process of talking to a couple different churches. We know that God will show up the right one to go to, where our gifts and talents will be used to the best of their ability.

We are very sad to be leaving Mt. Juliet though. We have been at Covenant for 3 1/2 years and have put a lot of time and effort into helping that youth group and working with those students. God has really moved at times and I can see in the lives of the student that they are changing. Somewhat slowly, but changing none-the-less. We love each of our students and there is nothing we wouldn't do for them. Some of them have already told us that we can't leave...

I will keep my bloggers updated as things progress. Just know that God is moving in our lives. This is something we have wanted for a couple years now, and we are ready to take the plunge. You can help us by praying for us, for our children, for the church we are leaving and for the church we will be going to.

Sick Day

For all those who were looking for a blog yesterday, I apologize. I was home with a big headache and didn't get a chance to do it. So today you are getting two. Be Prepared...

The Winds of Change are Upon Us

Today feels weird. Not sure what it is. Actually, I do know but I can't go into details about it till tomorrow. There are lots of things happening and I am really excited and God is really moving.

Last night a took a step forward by talking to our board about what is going on in my life. They were very supportive (as I thought they would be) and excited for me. Our church board has some great people on it and I continue to pray for them as they are doing the business of the church. They do not have an easy job, but they are doing what God has called them to do.

As today is Valentine's day, I want to give a shout out to my wife, Beth. We have been married for the last 12 years and are more in love today than we were then. She is my best friend besides being my wife. I am sure that I couldn't function without her. She does whatever I ask her (within reason). She helps me so much with my ministry. She does things that I am not able to, making phone calls, fliers, etc. She works hard to raise our 3 kids while I am off working or doing ministry. Sometimes I forget how much she does and think about myself, but I KNOW that I would never change jobs with her. She does stuff that I wouldn't want to do and she puts up with so much from me and the kids.

I love how she has grown closer to God. She wants so much to be a better mother, wife and women. She struggles sometimes and I hope that I help her more than hurt. She has been a wonderful wife. I couldn't imagine being married to anyone else (even though I am sure she could :) ).

I love her to death, and that grows deeper each day. I laugh at some of my students who talk about being in love, but have no clue what they are talking about. They believe love is just being with someone. They don't understand the sacrifice and commitment that goes into a real relationship. A love so deep that no argument could ever split you up. A love so dear, that nothing you do could ever lessen it. A love so deep that trials only make it deeper.

I love you Beth...

Cinderella Man

If you haven't seen this movie you need to. This is one of the best movies I have watched in a long time. The storyline was great, the actors were perfect for their parts and you were left with true heartfelt emotion. The language was kept to a minimal, no nudity or sexual clothing. The boxing was the worst part and even that was kept in perspective.

James Braddock (Russell Crowe) characters exhibits everything a father should be. Extreme love for his wife, and their 3 children at the expense of his own pride. The loves he shows is the love that all men should exhibit to their families. Too many times we get caught up in the us that we forget about them.

I was really surprised by this movie. We rented it not excpecting anything great but was really happy with how it turned out and that we were able to watch it.

Go rent or buy it now, it is well worth it.

Weekend Wrapup

The weekend is over and it is time to start a new week. Normally on Monday I am recovering from a busy week at church and with my youth group, but that isn't the case today. My weekend was actually pretty relaxing. Beth and I spent Saturday cleaning out our garage and taking some garbage to the dump. Our garage is packed with junk, so we had to go through it and make sure we wanted to keep all of it.

Then yesterday was pretty relaxing. The worship yesterday was very good and I was really excited about it. Standing in the back of the church in the sound booth praising God is cool. Sometimes I feel like I can't do much because of having to run sound, but I have found ways to get into the worship. Our Sunday night service with the students was good. We continued to talk about sin and how it affects our life.

My students have been going through a lot of problems right now. Some are struggling with parents and their rules, others are dealing with their influence by friends, others just aren't sure what to believe. I struggle with my kids because I want them so much to believe in God, to put their faith and trust in Him, but when the church is the only positive spiritual voice they hear, it is really hard. Last night we talked about the vertical relationship with God and that for most of them, that is a one way street. God is trying to reach them but they are busy doing their own thing and not worrying about communicating back with God. And that if our vertical relationship with God isn't happening, then the horizontal relationship with our friends, parents and other people can NEVER be complete. No matter how much we try, we cannot have a complete relationship with someone else, without having the complete relationship with God. Otherwise, we bring too much of ourselves into the situation and that causes problems.

In Matthew, God narrows down the rules of the law at that time to 2 commandments. Love the Lord your God, and love your neighbor as yourself. Do we follow this? Truthfully??? Our do we spend more time thinking of ourselves and how to please ourselves than we do worrying about what God or our neighbors need. Again, if our relationship with God isn't right, the others will struggle and cause us grief. This doesn't mean our life won't have problems, but when we are thinking about others and not ourself and striving to do what God wants, then those struggles will go smoother and we will work harder to make the best of them.

God knows that life can be hard, but He also tells us He will be with us as we go through it. Teenagers of today need help in understanding that this world isn't about them. That their are people, feeling and lives outside of their own. They are a small part of the story, God's story, but they need to realize that before they can join in.

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Man, God is good. I mean really. I can't see how some people just don't understand how God works and all that He has done for us. I guess the devil is working hard to keep people from believing.

Anyways, that is all for another blog. I found out some great news today. Beth and I will be going to Maryland to visit some friends. We are incredibly excited about it. We haven't been up there in years. We are going to visit with her step-brother also.

But we are truly excited about this opportunity. Only Kaitlyn will be going with us, the other two will have school they need to attend. They have missed a bunch already this year and we didn't think they needed to miss again.

Did you ever wish time would go by faster? I usually do right after lunch time. My job seems to slowdown in the afternoon. Normally that is when I blog. I have tried to snack to pass the time, but who knows. Sorry, didn't mean to bore you. I am just ready for this day to be over. I am doing nothing tomorrow except working on my computer.

PRAYER REQUEST NEEDED: I just found out that one of my students lost a baby she was having. She is only 17 years old. Pray for her medically, that everything will be ok. She is emotionally hurt right now. Even knowing the struggle she would have had with a baby at her age, she was ready for it. She is a good girl. Please pray for her.

Crossword - Feb. 7, 2007

Our service last night was very interesting. I knew there were some students who weren't happy with me and some decisions I have made. Some of them feel that I have become too mean because I am making them follow the rules. I have not invented new rules for our youth group but I am enforcing rules that have been in place. The biggest one we talked about was the use of cell phones at events. I have begun the policy of not allowing them, with much issue from the students. The reasoning for the no-cellphone rule is because too many times I see students texting other students rather than talking to them. I am not against cell phone use, just the reasoning that a student ALWAYS has to have a cell phone.

The main point of our service was discussing sin and how it affects our lives. Lots of students don't believe that lying or having sex are sins. That some sins are worse than others. Society is telling our students that some things are right because they are popular but we know they go against what the Bible teaches us.

Listen and let me know what you think. Be aware that our praise band was off because our lead guitarist wasn't around.

Reason

The video I am posting is one I found on Myspace and just had to get out there. I tried to clean it up and make it better quality. I have no idea who created it but believe it is an incredible video to watch.

I showed this video to my students last night during our service because we were talking about sin and redemption. I blogged yesterday about sin and how our society is slowing condoning things that have been wrong for centuries and our kids are stuck in the middle. As a youth pastor it is hard for me to combat almost 24 hours a day of information with the 3 hours or so a week i get with students.

Sin is real, whether we believe it is or not. God sent His only son to die for our sins so that we wouldn't have to, all we have to do is accept that gift.

Do you see in black and white?

I love the photographs of Ansel Adams. Beth got me a few early in our marriage that actually ended up at my best friends house because I had no where to put them. One of these days I will get them back.

But I love how he takes these amazing photographs in black and white. I know seeing them in color would be cool also, but there is something about them being in black and white that gives them more to tell. If you haven't seen his stuff, do a Google image search for Ansel Adams and you will see.

What would the world look like if all we saw was black and white? Would we have the same sense of awe when staring at a sunset? Would the rocky mountains look as nice if we saw no color? What about the clothes and models we see everyday, how would they be different? The world we see is beautiful because the creator sees in colors. Millions of them to be exact. These colors give us the images we see and the ability to differentiate between mauve and red.

When thinking about colors and black & white, I begin to realize that we as a society have tried to colorize our sins. We try to fade the wrongness of them, and color them in a better light. Right and wrong are no longer easy to see but sometimes left up for interpretation on the part of the user. I have seen this especially in the students I work with. When talking about sex or lying, they pretty much feel that both are ok. Tonight we will talk about sin and what it is, and hopefully some of them will realize that no matter what we personally believe about sin, it is still there and is just as wrong.

Our belief in sin doesn't make it any less wrong. We can change our laws to make same-sex marriage legal and right, but that doesn't change the way the Bible tells us about homosexuality and that God says it is wrong. We can define a baby as not being a human until 12wks, 18wks, or birth to make abortion that much easier to swallow, but that doesn't change the fact that killing an unborn child is murder in God's eyes. Now we can step away from some "big" sins and get down to the little ones. Lying to protect yourself is still lying. God doesn't have a little white lie section in his book. Having sex before marriage is still wrong, whether it is just fondling, oral or any base you can define. Sex is to be had during a marriage that is sanctioned by God. Just because we want it to be right, doesn't change that it isn't.

Our society is getting to the point of being completely opposite of what the church is trying to teach. We have students who have no real moral compass in which to guide themselves. They do, act and say what they want because they aren't told what is wrong. We baby them to the point that they believe they are the stuff, the gift to their parents, the ultimate in children all in the name of not hurting their feelings.

My own kids know failure. They know when they mess up. If they come home with a bad grade, they are punished for it. You know why? Because they need to be. Life isn't always fair. Life isn't always right. Once my kids graduate and get a real job, when they mess up, they will get in trouble. How are they going to deal with that? I want my own kids to know that they are allowed to mess up and if they do, they need to take stock in what they did and improve upon it.

We as Christians need to be teaching people about right and wrong, especially in our own household. My children know that lying at any point is wrong. They know that disobeying me or my wife is wrong. If they do they are punished. One of our biggest problems as a society is applying punishment for doing wrong. We water down the punishment for crimes in the name of not wanting to hurt people. We are told that you can do whatever you want as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. This is a great big lie told by Satan and we are buying it hook, line and sinker. Our students are buying it because they don't know any better.

God still sees everything in black and white. He does not change with society. He does not bend to the rule of the people. What was wrong in the days of Moses are still wrong today. Have you looked at the 10 Commandments lately? How many of those have you broken this week? How can we effectively teach the next generation that right and wrong are black and white? Are you the example that people need to see???

I John 1:8-10 - If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

What a Wild Week....

Man oh man, this week was crazy... On top of being incredibly busy with a teen event. I was also dealing with students who did something they shouldn't have done, and then telling their parents about it and working with them.

I realized this week that no matter what someone tells you, it is their actions that determine their true worth. Dealing with students you have to be aware that you are an adult and sometimes they don't come to you like they do their friends. And sometimes that is fine. My students are amazed at home much I know about them and what they do. Some of it is stuff I hear and parts are things I just know that teenagers do, no matter what they tell us. I also learned that people lie. This seems to be common among students no matter who you are. Lying is almost a part of life. I had several students flat out lie to me like it didn't matter. Lie to me like it was funny for them to do it it. And this isn't over something that was really wrong, just something small. Youth ministry is so hard, because you are up against a society that teaches almost 100% the opposite of what you are trying to, parents who are too busy or don't care enough to teach their child the basics of respect, friends who don't care about anyone but themselves and students who were never taught that hard work is well worth it.

I cry for my students sometimes. My heart hurt for them and the mistakes that they are making. Mistakes that are easily avoidable, but because students feel alone and afraid, they make anyways because they didn't feel the need to listen to an adult who cares. I cannot police the 30 students I have in my group, that isn't my job and would be a huge waste of my time because it wouldn't matter. That is the job of parents, not the youth pastor. I do what I can to help parents but when they don't care enough to push their child, it makes my job that much harder. I love parents and have a ton in my group who are trying to teach their kids right and wrong and make them better people, but I also have those who are almost none existent in the lives of their students. Not to say they aren't around, but that they aren't interested enough to find out what they are doing online, who their friends are or what music/videos they are listening to. All I can do is pray and do what God has called me to. Students and parents alike will make their own decisions, I can only plant seeds and pray that God will grow them.

On the good side, we had a great teen event this weekend. My students worked hard and really showed off their talents. The downside was that I didn't sleep for 40 hours. Man was I tired. I enjoy spending time with students. Sometimes I get frustrated with them, and really want to smack them upside the head sometimes, but I know that I might be the only one to care for them that day. But we had fun in Chattanooga and I think they learned a lot about competition and putting your best foot forward. I know some ego's were knocked down a few notches and that isn't a bad thing.

My Sunday was fine. Church was good and then we had a Super Bowl party to help support our NYC'ers. It was a good service, I felt ignored by some people. People that i shouldn't feel ignored by, but apparently something was wrong. I guess you can't please everyone. I personally feel like my life is in a stall right now. There are things about to happen but I have to hold on and wait for things to work out. Only time will help this and I know that. God is still in control, no matter what i am going through.

This message coming to you from my cell phone. Dont you love technology

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Finish Your Story - Crossword 1/31/2007